


concerning death and grief and fear for your best friend

by ingenious_spark



Series: Avengers Prompt Bingo 2012 [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Not A Fix-It, SHIELD Husbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-11
Updated: 2012-10-11
Packaged: 2017-11-16 03:12:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/534849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ingenious_spark/pseuds/ingenious_spark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the dust has settled, there are still some things that need to be taken care of.</p><p>Natasha is afraid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	concerning death and grief and fear for your best friend

**Author's Note:**

> For my Avengers Kink Bingo card, "Spooning".
> 
> Sorry.
> 
> I broke my own heart into itty-bitty pieces writing this. Argh.

Natasha is scared. She does not admit to it, gives no outward signs of it, but she is terrified. Clint Barton has been her mission partner and best (only true) friend for years. Phil Coulson has been their handler for just as long, was Clint’s handler alone for even longer. More than that, they’ve been married for four years, she had stood up for Clint at that tiny private ceremony. She does not know how he’s going to take it when they finally tell him that Coulson is dead.

Guilt over not telling him mixes with that fear and roils in her stomach, leaving her picking at the shawarma before her, uncertain about if she’ll be able to eat it without her body immediately rejecting it.

There’s a crunch of gravel. All their attentions turn towards where Nick Fury is standing in the doorway of the shop.

“Fury, can’t you cut us a break, we just saved the damn city-” Tony trails off when he realizes that Nick is paying no attention to him at all, is in fact staring at Clint, who is staring straight back. Nick is the one to look away, and Natasha’s heart clenches painfully. The tall man walks forward solemnly, laying two objects on the space of empty table before Clint.

The set of dog-tags and the simple golden wedding band are like an accusation, and Natasha has to look away.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” Nick says in the dead quiet, resting a hand on Clint’s shoulder. Natasha looks anywhere but at her best friend, gaze skipping over everyone at the table. Tony looks white and ill, Steve has an ancient grief lining his face. Bruce looks sick and numb, Thor looks uncomprehending.

“…how did he die?” Clint’s voice is calm, quiet. Natasha wonders how he manages it.

“On the helicarrier, facing down Loki.” Nick replies. Natasha can see dawning horror on Steve and Tony’s faces, puzzled recognition on Thor’s.

“Thank you.” Clint says, picking up the objects and stowing them in the pocket above his heart. Nick bows his head.

“Phil Coulson was a great man, and a good friend.” He says. Clint smiles, something vague and faint and broken.

“And a faithful husband.” He finishes, standing. “I think I’ll get myself back to headquarters. Tasha, will you come?” Natasha stands in an instant, not even caring about the others anymore.

“Of course I will,” she says, hurrying to his side. They leave, and do not speak until they’re back in Natasha’s quarters. Clint has led them here and Natasha thinks that, perhaps, it is still too painful to return to the rooms that he and Phil shared. She lets them in and says nothing when he strips down to his boxers, donning a pair of soft pajama pants that she hands him. He removes the tags and ring from his tac vest, slipping the ring onto the chain and the chain over his head. He removes the identical simple gold band from his own tags, slipping it onto his finger.

“I’m going to have to adjust to wearing jewelry in the field, Tasha. You might need to watch my back a little more until I do.” He says quietly, before lying down on her bed and facing the wall. Natasha quickly strips down to her own sleepwear, a tank top and a pair of boxers, before sliding in behind him and wrapping him up his her arms. His back begins, slowly, to shake against her chest.

“I will do anything you want me to, Clint. Anything I can do.” She swears solemnly to him and holds him until he cries himself out, until he falls still, into sleep. “I swear to you.” She murmurs into the back of his neck.

She is Natasha Romanoff, Natalia Romanova, the Black Widow.

And she will never break that vow.


End file.
